Assertive Communication Skills

teaching assertive communication, conflct resolution, activities, speech therapy, counseling, middle school, high school, Imessages, communiication styles, older students

Why teach assertive communication?

Assertive communication means you are standing up for yourself, and letting others know how you are feeling, in a kind and respectful manner. It is an important skill for our students to learn.

Why? A multitude of reasons!

Students with disabilities can be targets for teasing and bullying, in person and online. Assertive communication offers tools for dealing with it.
Students with disabilities need to learn how to advocate for themselves and their learning needs and self-advocacy requires being assertive.
Our students face enormous peer pressure. Those students that have a peer group can feel pressure to conform to the group’s expectations and standards. Also, students without a peer group may choose to do something they wouldn’t otherwise do, so they will be accepted by a potential group of friends.
Saying “no” and setting boundaries are important self-care skills and an important part of being assertive.
Some of our students have difficulties regulating their emotions. They can benefit from being taught the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Remaining calm is vital for asserting yourself.

Other blog posts on important life skills for older students:

How do we teach students to be assertive?

asserting yourself, communication styles, passive, aggrressive, asserting yourself, older students, teaching, activities, middle school, high school

Contrast vocabulary

Weave in vocabulary activities and contrast them with related words. Contrasting concept A with concept B helps students understand the subtle differences between the ideas. Start assertive communication teaching with activities that contrast the communication styles of “aggressive,” “assertive,” and “passive,” rather than only teaching “assertive.” Some students may not know what being assertive means until they see what it doesn’t mean! Give students the same communication intent, used in the 3 different communication styles and have them label the statements as “assertive,” “aggressive,” or “passive” as in the slide from my BOOM deck below.

passive, aggressive, assertive, communication styles, teaching social skills, BOOM cards, middle, high school

Scaffold specific skills

When I teach social skills, I gradually scaffold new skills. This is more effective than teaching it all at once. Then, once the student understands the differences between the communication styles, you can introduce some ways to be assertive. Here are the assertive communication skills that I pull from when working with middle and high school students.

assertive communication, middle school, high school, communication styles. self advocacy

I Messages

If you don’t have time to teach a variety of ways to be assertive, I’d recommend focusing on how to use I messages! I messages are powerful and can be helpful in a variety of conflict and social situations encountered by our students! I messages do not blame or accuse. They state how the behavior affected them in a respectful way.

Being assertive can be developed with practice. It’s not like we are either born assertive or it will never happen! I have a deck of BOOM cards for teaching middle and high school students how to communicate assertively that covers I messages and more: declining with a “nice no,” speaking your needs, and the three C’s of assertive communication (confidence, clarity, control). It is a full lesson that includes knowledge and vocabulary checks, interactive activities, and relevant social scenarios.

Purchase the product in my stores at the links below on BOOM learning or TPT.

BOOM cards Assertive Communication at BOOM Learning

Boom cards Assertive Communication on TPT