Social Skills Conversation Skills – Responses that form Connections.
updated 1/23
Do you focus on how to have meaningful conversations in your social skills or speech therapy sessions? How can we teach our students to have meaningful conversation skills? You know, conversations that don’t just bounce around on the surface but actually help them form friendships and work towards enhanced relationships. Shouldn’t this be the ultimate goal of social skills instruction in speech therapy?
This post is about meaningful conversations. You might like this post about maintaining conversations.
Meaningful conversations aren’t necessarily about “deep stuff.” There are two primary skills to focus on to develop deeper conversations:
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Think about meaningful conversations in the context of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
When we work on communication skills, we often approach it from the standpoint of safety, as in “internet safety” or “stranger danger.” The other need we help students fullfill is the one of love/belonging, and that’s where working on meaningful conversations fits in.
Conversation Responses Point Scale
The Conversation responses point scale shown below, can be used to help social communication students ask questions and make comments that go beyond the chit-chat zone. There is definitely a time and a place for fillers and one word responses but when we strive to go beyond the chit-chat zone, with meaningful questions and comments, we foster personal connections! Check out this video that explains the conversation responses point scale, that you can use to teach how to use conversation skills that help students connect with others. Then, have students play this online Boom cards game, “connecting through conversation.” Students can rate the conversation responses using the point scale pictured below!
You can find out more about this point scale in this blog post on social skills and meaningful conversations.
Practice Meaningful Conversation Responses!
Once you’ve introduced the scale, it’s time to practice! Have students practice making conversation responses that are three points and make emotional connections. Draw a simple outline as in the picture below and give them a tally in the 0, 1, 2, or 3 column depending upon the point value of their response. Online Therapist? Use your digital whiteboard to give them tally marks under four columns. Below, I’ve used the heart stickers on the Zoom digital annotation feature to symbolize responses used by my students that were three pointers! Brick and mortar therapist? Use blocks or other small manipulatives to track points during a conversation. Get creative and use any seasonal manipulatives you have laying around your office.
Relevant Responses-beyond on/off topic
Meaningful conversations don’t just require responses that form connections. They also require us make relevant responses so our listeners feel heard and respected. That doesn’t mean remaining strictly ON TOPIC. Let’s face it, in actual conversations, we as “neurotypical communicators” frequently veer off topic. Meaningful conversation skills aren’t so much about topic maintenance as they are about general relevance of the responses. Sometimes, student responses are related to the main topic of conversation but not to the statement that was just said by the conversation partner(s) and we need to honor these responses! I call these “close” responses and use a target to teach them. So many of my students can provide a response that relates to the general topic (or main idea) of the conversation and I want them to know that they are close but they also need to consider what was just said in the conversation. Why? Our conversational partners interpret irrelevant responses as disinterest.
Boom Cards: Topic Relevance
Interested in honoring those “close” responses with your students? Check out this set of Boom Cards!
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