Teaching Personal Space Preschool & Elementary

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Are you faced with teaching personal space to preschool and elementary school children? At its core, personal space is about recognizing and interpreting nonverbal communication. Preschool and kindergarten children are often wrapped up in themselves and their own emotions and recognizing subtle emotions on others might not be where their heads are at! Piaget proposed that children as old as 7 years maintain an egocentric viewpoint (Piaget & Inhelder, 1956). Subsequent studies showed that children after 4 or 5 years are able to successfully take the perspective of another person (e.g., Flavell, Everett, Croft, & Flavell, 1981). That doesn’t necessarily mean they are experts at reading ALL the subtlelties of nonverbal communication. Autistic children have difficulties judging appropriate social distance and this is a critical skill to address with them.

Teaching Personal Space to Preschool Children

The goal with younger children is awareness of personal space issues. Once you feel like they can self-monitor their behavior, you can put more emphasis on changing the behavior. For preschoolers, use social stories or narratives to teach the following information:

basic rules of personal space in a concrete fashion,
the settings where it can challenge them, (lines, lunch table) and
basic emotions (scared, sad) that people feel when their space is invaded.

When teaching personal space to preschool children,

Keep it simple. Use repetitive language they understand.
Do not prioritize the complexities or exceptions of personal space that are discussed below.
Find a strategy that is visually defines the spaces they are in, such as colored tape, rug squares or a hula hoop.
Find a phrase that works as a reminder, such as “space,” or “arm’s length.”
Display visual reminders in your teaching space. Your preschoolers, especially those that are neurodivergent thinkers, will benefit from visual reminders as they learn to self-monitor their own bodies and surrounding space.
Remember, they may need the support of an adult to help them monitor their own personal space around others.

I have two personal space products geared for preschool and kindergarten. They can be used by classroom teachers, parents, counselors or therapists.

Click below to see the printable version.

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Click below to see the digital (BOOM cards) version.

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Teaching Personal Space to Elementary Children

As children age, you can incorporate the above-mentioned information and also focus more on helping them manage and self-monitor their own personal space behavior and understand the complexities and exceptions of personal space, such as

Personal space depends on the person/people around us, our relationship to them and the setting. For example, we get closer to family members and close friends than strangers and acquaintances.
There are exceptions! An important one is there are settings where giving adequate personal space isn’t possible, such as a crowded elevator, public transportation, or a full table in a classroom.
Your older students can be taught that personal space rules are different in various cultures. For example, Italians generally keep a close proximity to one another and are generally affectionate and tactile people.
Dive into the specifics of exactly what others think when social distance is not observed. Use content-specific images and thought bubbles.
Teach the emotions (surprised, mad, afraid) people feel when their space is invaded, but also teach the nonverbal communication signs that a person is uncomfortable such as: the person backs away, puts their hands up with palms facing out, and moves or adjusts their position.
Discuss how aggressive behaviors (hitting, kicking) are personal space transgressions too! More subtle transgressions include taking something out of someone’s hand, walking between people who are talking and looking in another student’s desk when the student is not there.

Click below for the tiered printable version for elementary school.

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Click below for the digital BOOM cards version!

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Personal Space Teaching Strategies

Try the following strategies to help children learn about personal space:

Children remember big feelings. Get into a student’s space (as respectfully as possible) so they can experience a personal space transgression. Discuss how it feels!
Have your child slowly walk toward you, describing how he is getting closer, just right, and too close. Ask the child how they feel at each distance. When you find a distance that your child finds uncomfortable, or “too close,” explain to them that that is what others feel when he/she stands too close to them.
Teach and model helpful personal space related language. Some example phrases could include: I need some space! That’s too close! You can come closer!
Refer to visual symbols or posters for respectful lining up, walking or sitting.
Use role playing and Social Stories to teach personal space.
Structure transitions so a child always has something to carry in their hands so they are not touching others in the line.
Model social distance in various settings and provide commentary, “look, my hands are by my side.”
Display photographs that show social distance.
Use visual rewards and praise when children get it right.
Have “personal space checks” at different points in the day. Wait until every child is in their space before moving on.
Use videos to teach about personal space.

What is the INTENT Behind the Personal Space Infraction?

Once you figure out the intent of the personal space transgression, you can replace it with a safer behavior. I had an autistic kindergarten student who was constantly shaking a sharp pencil in the face of his peers. We tried many approaches that didn’t stick. One day, after he shook a pencil in a girl’s face that resulted in her crying, we went out in the hall to discuss the incident. He repeatedly said, “she likes it, it’s funny.” After much discussion and questioning, I determined he had gotten positive feedback (laughing, smiling) at some point from this peer during this pencil shaking but now it was scaring her. He kept repeating the behavior in the hopes of getting the laughs and smiles again. We were able to generate and practice other ways for him to get this positive social feedback from her. I then supported him during play and he was able to get the smiles and laughs from her in safer ways.

Some students are meeting a sensory need by not showing social distance in a shared space. Some climb on their parents at home and don’t realize they can’t do this at school. Observe the student and determine what is happening before they invade the space of others.

If you need personal space intervention ideas for older students, this post on social distance interventions with older students might help.

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